Nayla's Reflection...

Goodbye Letter

2012-01-29T17:03:00.001+01:00

I considered. I reconsidered. I contemplated. I re-contemplated. I reached a conclusion: This chapter has to end. I'm going to close this blog. What can I say. I kept postponing these lines for weeks now. It was some time in last December I decided to start over with my life. Whereabouts were changing and I was thinking about people in my life. Who do I want to keep close? Who was worth

Somebody That I Used to Know

2012-01-28T13:42:00.000+01:00

Wie es weiter geht..

2012-01-27T16:50:00.000+01:00

Sieh dieser Welt zu, wie sie handelt. Hier sitze ich und versuche sie zu verstehen, um mir so mein eigenes Handeln zu erklären. Dann schreibe ich diese Zeilen in der Hoffnung, dass sie mir helfen in meinen immer wiederkehrenden Kämpfen mit dir. Diese Menschen, die ich sehe, fast alle sind sie geplagt von Dämonen. Sie haben alles gegeben, um diese zu besiegen und enden dennoch in ihren kalten

Questions

2012-01-27T02:13:00.000+01:00

Why and how do we measure abstract things? Like time? What is it exactly we call time? Why does it pass so quickly or so slow sometimes? How about love? What is love? What is it exactly that causes the chemical reactions and neural activity in our brains? Is it love that causes the reactions or rather the reactions that cause the love? A lot of questions cross my mind. Today a friend called me

Running Out Of Time

2012-01-26T01:15:00.001+01:00

I'm so paranoid and tensed lately. I can't relax as I'm running out of time and I don't have any for myself, and there is still so much to do, so much to learn, so much to devour. I wish I could simply isolate myself so I don't need to hear a thing and only concentrate on the all the wonders I find in my books. I wish so much I could jump into a fountain of pure information and knowledge and

My Forgiveness

2012-01-25T21:19:00.002+01:00

What is it that you want from me? My Forgiveness? What are you going to do with it? The usual mess?You want my forgiveness? Well,here it is.You reached out this far to get here.Now look at me.It's not the same here.It all started with the seed of the lie.Growing in every direction.But you couldn't control your affection. Leaving the grayness. Your act of admission.Looking at me as if I

Death of a Revolution? I Hope Not.

2012-01-25T01:11:00.000+01:00

Let's say this one blogger has one of these critical, over analytical minds. Let's say this one blogger is abstaining from having a public opinion about the anniversary of the Egyptian Revolution. What would this one blogger, still, in secrecy think? Here you go: Egypt's future, and I hope so much that I am wrong about it, is already decided. Maybe I talk like one of those pessimistic/

Emotional Writing

2012-01-23T20:11:00.000+01:00

Throughout the last years, I regarded writing in English as intimidating. Especially here on this blog I refused writing about issues which require real depth. Most of the things I discuss are on the surface. I kept telling myself English was not my mother tongue and it wouldn't be right to write about sensitive issues after all. And if I did I wouldn't be satisfied with the outcome. I kept

Intouchables

2012-01-21T12:31:00.003+01:00

I usually treat my insomnia with a book until I finally doze off. But I'm forced to read all day lately, so I wasn't really in the mood to read in the night even if it was a novel. By chance I stumbled onto this movie. It's really worth watching. I have no idea how I missed out on it for so long. If you are familiar with French, you should watch the movie in the language it was meant to be.

Working things out? Gaza.

2012-01-21T05:09:00.000+01:00

She looked around the place at the certificates and letters framed and hung randomly on the walls. The names of the important universities of this world. There was also a poster of a young Arabic looking woman. Something about the image was very bold. Underneath it, was a question she couldn't recall afterwards. Lately she had the power of concentration of a goldfish. There was another poster

That Stranger Is Me

2012-01-19T22:33:00.001+01:00

I am the daughter of one of the greatest men When they came and put me in a fortess like my eyes had never seen They spoke in tongues I've never heard but I understood everything They took me to the ocean at the edge of the earth I journied tempest waters and reached distant shores My clothes were tattered and my soul was worn I loved a man, there in mental captivity They came late

What Are The Odds...

2012-01-18T16:03:00.000+01:00

I always felt tempted to share this one story but I always felt a little afraid. But I realized this could be about anybody or you can consider it an imaginary story (which it is maybe!). This was years ago and I am quite sure now none would link anything. It's about this guy on the run. I remember it all started with him being very silent during those meetings when we brainstormed. Until

Turn The Page

2012-01-16T18:56:00.000+01:00

There were a couple of things I wanted to write about since yesterday. I had different headlines in my mind. Justice? Injustice? Oh, this was a good one: The liar and the believer? Worlds collided? Then I thought I should write about the things that actually happened. Name them. This time not in a short story. I write short stories to not be too exposed. But this time I thought I should write

Rolling in the Deep

2012-01-16T08:01:00.000+01:00

Writer's Block

2012-01-14T21:36:00.000+01:00

ink held fleshthoughts suspended in timefeelings finding meaningat the beginning of each lineanxiety hitsas ink meets paperyet the pagebecomes paler and palera mind of stormy wordshovering to find its peaceleaving a creative messto say the leastmany have been startedwaiting to be completedsweetness in its shortnessbut thoughts have been defeatedwondering how it will endlet alone how it

Die Sprache jenseits aller Worte

2011-12-06T14:41:00.001+01:00

Ich dachte oft, ich müsste schreiben können, um zu überleben. Ich fühlte mich so bedrängt von zu vielen Worten und Sätzen, dass ich nicht wusste wie man überhaupt spricht. Geflüchtet bin ich auf diese Weise in zwei Sprachen, die - wenn wir ganz ehrlich sind - nicht meine Denk- und Muttersprache sind. Beide beherrsche ich sehr gut, aber sie reichen nicht. Das Resultat hiervon war selten

سكوت

2011-11-28T00:21:00.000+01:00

I have been trying to stay away from those who tried to control my thoughts by acting like they have an inner peace that I don't have. Let me tell you, unless this strength to pacify has been proven, it is probably nothing than a ploy. I have been training myself that resisting these mind games of others is also a form of inner strength. Sometimes it works for me, mostly it doesn't. This is why

New Year's Resolution

2011-11-28T00:12:00.001+01:00

It's almost december. And for the last four years in december I made my New Year's resolution quite early. It ended up to be some mental sport for me to hold on. I intended to skip it this year but I made up my mind. My quite early New Year's resolution contains only one thing. For 2012: I want to survive and live.

A World in Black and White and Yet Full of Colors

2011-11-01T16:43:00.000+01:00

I have an exceptionally gifted friend. Almost everything she starts in her artistic ways turns into gold. She has a very keen eye for aesthetics and a very loud voice when she fights against injustice. But let's brush this aside. These are some of her pictures. I don't have much to say, let her work speak up for itself. A world in black and white and yet full of colors ❤ <-- cliquez ici

Not My First Winter

2011-11-01T15:24:00.002+01:00

When I woke up this morning I asked myself, what the hell is wrong? A pain here, a pain there. Shit I need to take care of this. Nothing new. But what is wrong? I do ask myself this particular question many times a day and nothing comes by. People come along and hurt you, take away things and pieces from you and walk away as if nothing happened. Goodbyes are easy ones to throw around, easier

Because the Ghetto It Was

2011-10-26T01:46:00.000+02:00

I have spent most of the day listening to Metallica. I have been quite nostalgic about everything. I remembered the first time I held their CD in my hands. In fact, it was one of my very first CD's long time before mp3's and their players got invented. We used to listen to their songs on our ghetto blasters and this is pretty much were my story begins. In the Ghetto. Here is my thought journey:

Truth in Foreign Thoughts

2011-10-23T16:24:00.000+02:00

And if poetry doesn't matter, why is it that there are people who find their only comfort on earth in reading it? Why is it that some poets are the only companions of lonely or unhappy people? What is it that they find in books which nothing else in the world can show or tell them? Do you know? [...] And why is it that some people try all their lives to become writers or poets, even though

Wild Geese

2011-10-12T12:21:00.000+02:00

You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes,

Let's open Pandora's box

2011-10-10T10:18:00.001+02:00

I don't understand. Statuses on Facebook say "Muslim and proud". For crying out loud, what's out there happening in Egypt to be proud of if you are a Muslim? I don't understand. Ultimate destruction against the own people as though they were not part of the society only because of the religious views. Instead of fighting against the right forces, we direct our powers towards the wrong causes.

Langsam, Mohnblume

2011-10-09T22:15:00.001+02:00

Viel ist passiert. Lange bist Du gerannt. Schlaff und erschöpft erstreckt sich Dein schwarzes Haar über Dein Haupt. Langsam, Mohnblume. Langsam. Heute musst Du nicht rennen, heute bist Du schon da. Geballt sind Deine Fäuste.Klein und zierlich wie die einer Prinzessin. Bereit zu kämpfen, wie ein Soldat.Langsam Mohnblume. Langsam.Heute musst Du nicht kämpfen, heute ist kurz der Frieden da.Laut

Taking the decision to follow the light

2011-10-09T22:15:00.000+02:00

I loved Paulo Coehlo when I was a teen. The question marks towards the world weren't as huge as today. Less critical was my mind. Naivety still a precious friend. It left me disappointed some years ago, when I decided again to read his work "The Warrior of the Light". It was nothing as I had it in mind, in memory. The words seemed lame, easy written and said, nothing to apply. This cruel world

Snatches of Memory

2011-10-08T23:07:00.000+02:00

Any day. The sending report says "pending" and before I know what's going on and before I could start dwelling in self pity and doubts, I see the phone ringing and wonder what is next rising upon me and my head? A cloud I cannot hide or even catch. It will be there, just pending like the report in my phone. So I answer. "Hallo", I say. A very common salutation in Germany. I've never gotten rid

Take off the black cloth

2011-10-07T10:53:00.000+02:00

"Take off the black cloth", you said. I didn't understand. I had promised to never wear them too long. "Take them off", you repeated. Confusion. You looked different, you looked happy. It made me smile. Not knowing what to answer I said, "It seems I screwed it up again. I really tried. They do not forgive. What did go wrong again?" How was this possible. It seemed weird, you were talking

Truth in Foreign Thoughts

2011-09-27T12:35:00.000+02:00

Back in time when I was still somehow innocent, still naive, less greedy when it comes to love because it was naturally around and inside me, and when I was less filled with negativity because life and reality seemed so easy, yes back then in time when I learned the first miracles of the written word, when I first brushed kindly the books of my father and when I first smelled the scent of old

A Thought

2011-09-26T00:48:00.000+02:00

By Raj Kamal Jha - Fireproof Strange, how a hospital should go to sleep at night just like the healthy when, in fact, disease sits in each room, on the bed and in between the sheets, when death stands behind many a door, pressed flat against the wall, ready to walk in unannounced. But come night, the hospital has to sleep. So its eyes, all the doors to its rooms, close. Its limbs, the long

The way princess has killed her dream

2011-09-22T22:04:00.000+02:00

This is not what it was supposed to be, I say to myself, as I cry. It's early dawn and I woke up in a, well let's say, more or less extraordinary way. It's different when you are alone in your apartment, I think. At least I don't need to act a well being state which does not exist. All I want to do is, to breathe out a last breath that maybe breaks through a loud sigh which sits deep in

Diary 2011

2011-09-19T23:49:00.000+02:00

It was the 22nd of January of this year. I have met up with a very dear person to go for movies and hang out afterwards. And although we always make plans to go somewhere fancy we end up sitting in this one particular Mc Donald's restaurant in a special corner of Cologne. For me, it was meant to be the last week as a local citizen of this precious town. I was soon moving. Or I had already moved

Tears in the Mirror

2011-09-10T22:17:00.000+02:00

The tears on your face is all I see of you your once rosy cheeks and proud smile hidden with each one wiping the other away a stream you've created with no bank to contain them I once was that bank but today I watch in silence my words are tired of repeating themselves worthless and retired and your tears will soon follow I have given all that i could yet I squeeze from

Sharaye.. Wo bist Du?

2011-09-08T09:03:00.000+02:00

Die Big Mac's hier sind um einiges größer. Ich hätte ein Foto machen müssen, damit Du mir glaubst. Aber glaub mir bitte einfach so. Ich saß vor einigen Tagen für wenige Minuten alleine in einem riesengroßen Einkaufszentrum und habe mich gefragt, warum die Menschen ihren Status mit Konsum messen müssen. Und ich - ja, ich schaute mit großen Augen diesen fetten Burger an und verstand nicht wie ein

The Way You See It

2011-09-06T20:33:00.000+02:00

A lot is happening right now. I know it is quite upsetting to you when I prefer to be drowning in my silence. I know the way you see it, is - that I don't open up and that I don't want to show what it is there inside. I know that when you see the sparks of sadness in my eyes that you would actually want to take me and squeeze and shake it out of me. You feel helpless I know, I see it, and be

[ArtPics] Romero Redondo

2011-08-30T20:37:00.000+02:00

This picture is astonishing, isn't it? Thank you Toppol for sharing. More here: ArtPics

She's Alive. Beautiful. Finite. Hurting. Worth Dying for.

2011-08-25T04:39:00.000+02:00

FOR THE RECORD

2011-08-24T16:52:00.001+02:00

Addressing those who are trying to put words into my mouth. To be very clear, criticizing the NATO in Libya does not necessarily mean that I want to make sweet love to Qaddafi. Criticizing the lack of Congressional approval needed for international involvement does not mean I am against freedom in the Middle East. And being wary of oil companies does not mean that I want to dis-empower Libyans.

Die andere Heimat

2011-08-24T02:35:00.008+02:00

Du hast mich gefunden und gemacht. Alles unter Deiner Regie, an Deiner Hand. Aber ich kann nicht mehr, ab jetzt gehe ich allein. Das letzte Lächeln, dass ich Dir schenkte, machte mich frei. Deiner Norm entsprach ich nie. Der Tag ist nun da, an dem ich Dir sage: Dies ist mein Sonnensystem und hier drehen sich Planeten nach meinem Willen, ganz im Alleingang. Dies ist meine Welt. Meine eigenen

On The Run

2011-08-22T16:02:00.001+02:00

I have 17 minutes to write this post. I am hacking away at a mountain of emails and I'm hoping to reduce it to a grassy knoll within the next hours but before that there are some very important errands to run and some astonishing kids to meet up with. I'm in general looking forward to touching the base of a silence I have chosen for myself the next weeks. Silence in myself. All these voices

Game Over

2011-08-22T00:12:00.002+02:00

Phonecall. Display says Miray. "Miri!""Seems Libya is free""Sociopath gone?""Yup, game over.""I gotta go." "Why?""I wanna dance." "Haha." FINALLY! All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke

Freiheit

2011-08-21T21:45:00.001+02:00

Ohne Worte. Xavier ♥ Wanna See You in Concert. Freiheit heißt Liebe Freiheit heißt "Gib mir Raum" Freiheit heißt Treue Freiheit ist ein Menschheitstraum Freiheit heißt Rücksicht Freiheit heißt Toleranz Freiheit heißt "Hilf Mir" Ich glaube Freiheit bleibt weiterhin unbekannt

Alea iacta est.

2011-08-20T22:06:00.005+02:00

In the year 2008. A day in April. Actually it was the 9th I wrote you a message as though you were going to read it. The code was - SMS to God. And I have sent it. Someone called me up the next morning. It was definitely not God, yet a worried person who found my lines beautiful. I said, I am sorry for this. I didn't know what to do. My father passed away. I felt embarrassed for doing that. What

For Tarek

2011-08-20T01:59:00.003+02:00

It wasn't until now I decided to finally address some words to you. I should be mourning and whining in silence, I know! But in the face of the gates that always stayed open, it is actually very hard to say, no. I should have seen it coming, yet I did not. I remember more than one incident in which I have found you behind me to catch me up when I fall. It's the closest thing to crazy we have been

An Act Of Faith

2011-08-19T21:39:00.002+02:00